10/29/2016 Jeff Tries a Chocolate Milkshake

DVD Review: They Live Shout Factory Collector's Edition

Blu-Ray Review: The Thing Shout Factory Collector's Edition

MAR Tries Crystal Pepsi

9-8-2016 Jeff's Thoughts on Being Offended

MAR Talks Cinema | The 13th Warrior

“Beowulf is boring!”  That exclamation by a friend is what inspired the late Michael Crichton to write his 1976 novel, The Eaters of the Dead.   Written from the perspective of an anthropological translation of 10th-century court report, Eaters retells the Beowulf story in a down-to-earth fashion, only making changes to set in reality.  While mostly based on the epic poem, the novel also incorporates the real life Ahmed Ibn Fadlan’s journey for the Caliphate into the story, both as our protagonist and narrator.  While first optioned in seventy-nine by Orion Pictures, it wasn’t until the summer of ninety-seven that production began.  While originally shot under the same title as the book, the title was changed to The 13^th Warrior upon release.

            The 13^th Warrior is a 1999 historical-action film directed by John McTiernan, with a cast led by Antonio Banderas.  The plot is more or less the same as the book:  Ahmed catches the eye of a married woman and is set away from home when her husband complains to the Caliph.  Upon reaching the Volga River he runs into a group of Norsemen who are celebrating the life of their late king.  Not long after a messenger from Hrothgar of the north arrives, asking for aid against an ancient threat.  Thirteen warriors are selected, Ahmed among them, as the Thirteenth must be no Northman.  The group travel to the land of the Norse, where they encounter the threat:  a group of human-like beings called the Wendol.  Together the warriors must protect Hrothgar’s people and find a way to repel the Wendol threat for all time. 

            The film was originally supposed to be released in 1998 but was delayed after negative test-screenings necessitated several re-edits.  At this point, McTiernan was booted off the film Crichton took over the production.  Once again the film was re-edited, and additional scenes were shot, including a new ending.  These changes include changing the age of the Mother, adding in the ending duel between Bulywyf and the Wendol leader, and replacing the score.  While it is hard to confirm what else Crichton changed without a copy of the original shooting script, the first time I watched the film I noticed Ahmed’s sword changed back and forth from curved to straight, sometimes within the same scene. 

All of Crichton’s changes massively inflated the budget, with the rough total being $110 million before marketing and $160 million after marketing.  For comparison, The Lost World only cost $73 million.  It opened at Number Two on August 27^th to mostly negative reviews and currently holds a 33% on Rotten Tomato’s, the consensus being great sets and atmosphere but thin on plot.  It ultimately grossed roughly $60 million worldwide, making it one of cinemas great box office bombs.

            While I will concede that the plot isn’t overly complex, that is a holdover from both literary source materials.  The Eaters of the Dead is a court-report; the entire story is told from Ahmed’s viewpoint, chronicling his views and bias towards everything he witnesses.  It is a foreigner’s interpretation of what transpired, and as such is slightly one-sided.   Because of this, his twelve warrior companions do not get much development beyond the typical stock Norseman.  Even Herger, the one warrior Ahmed can converse with, is not immune; they have a comrade-in-arms relationship, but most of it has to do with Herger being Ahmed’s sole source of information.  Bulywyf is portrayed like an epic-hero, fitting given he is our Beowulf stand-in.  While his death does not involve a dragon, it is no less fitting for one wishing to gain entry into Valhalla.

              The story being told by Ahmed also meant one aspect had to be changed in the medium transfer:  Ahmed’s understanding of the Norse language.  In the novel he slowly picks it up as the story unfolds, but by the end only has a rudimentary understanding.  In the film he picks it up before they reached Hrothgar’s hall, paying close attention to conversations when they make camp; while it only shows three, the exact number is left for the viewer to decided.  Some might find this a little farfetched, but given that Ahmed is a writer in a culture that is known to have traded with the Norse I have no problem with the solution.  The alternative would be Ahmed asking Herger about everything like he does in the book, which would slow the film down.  It also gives an added bonus of Ahmed gaining some respect from his Norse companions, which in turn adds to their stronger relationship in this medium.

The screenplay was written by William Wisher Jr and Warren Lewis.  At the time Wisher was well known for helping James Cameron write the action masterpiece Terminator 2 Judgement Day and Lewis had worked with McTiernan as an assistant director on his directorial debut, Nomads.  Even with the production problems, I feel they did a great job, although I do wonder which aspects of the film come from their original script and which was changed later. 

          The score was originally composed by Graeme Revell, but when Crichton took over he was replaced by the legendary Jerry Goldsmith.  While I do feel for Revell, it was hard to compete with Goldsmith, whose score carries the right amount of epicenes and is fun to listen to with or without the film.  Like Lord of the Rings, it makes one want to pick up a sword and slay some enemies.

           One thing the film doesn’t fully explore is what the Wendol are. The novel’s final chapter reveals that they are decedents of the Neanderthal, which explains their different appearance, bear reverence, greater strength, stone-age weaponry and persistence on retrieving their dead.  Since this revelation is outside of Ahmed’s writing, I understand why it wasn’t included, although there are subtle hints in the Wendol makeup that point to this conclusion.  One nice little addition is that we briefly hear a Wendol speak their own language, which humanizes their culture, if only slightly.

           Antonio Banderas lead the cast as Ahmed, and he delivered a great performance.  From the beginning, you identify with him.  He’s been put in one awful situation over jealousy and then another over prophecy.  He’s stuck in a bad situation, but he makes the best of it and pushes forward, which makes him likable and admirable.  At first he does have a little smugness, but it’s tempered by the horrors he encounters because of the Wendol.  This was Banderas’s acting follow-up to The Mask of Zorro, and it shows during the battle scenes.  He channels some of first act Alejandro into Ahmed’s fighting technique, making the audience believe that he is not a hardened warrior like his companions, but someone who has battle thrust upon them and must survive. Some might find it strange to have a Spanish actor cast as an Arab ambassador—a point I will concede somewhat—but considering the foothold Islam had in Spain at the time the film is set I would counter it is plausible, if not slightly improbable. 

            Herger was played by Norwegian actor Dennis Storhoi, and I felt he did a great job.  He has a chemistry with Banderas that slowly grows as the plot progresses, and by the end, the audience buys that the two are battle-friends.  One little addition that I love is that Herger regularly calls Ahmed “little brother.  It is both a term of endearment and shows the Arab’s place in the group.  Outside of this role I’m not that familiar with his work, although I do know he was attached to The Thing prequel in the early stages.

          Canadian actor Vladimir Kulich played Bulywyf, and he embodied the character perfectly.  Although there isn’t much to his character beyond the “Epic-hero” archetype, Vladimir embodies and embraces it in his performance, especially in his battle scenes.  He’s had mild success outside the film, having roles in Highlander, Vikings, The Equalizer, and—what I recognize his voice from—The Elder Scrolls V as Ulfric Stormcloak.

            Outside of these three, the rest of the cast is just there.  They play their roles decently, but nothing memorable stands out.  One thing to mention is that Omar Sharif—who played Banderas’s travel companion during the opening scenes—hated the final film so much that he temporarily retired from acting.

              Is the film a masterpiece?  No, but it is an entertaining adventure film with competently shot action, a lead character the audience cares for, interesting side-characters and a creepy antagonist faction.  It’s a film that I can turn on any day, and my personal favorite cinematic Beowulf adaptation.  While I am curious how the original cut of the film played, my curiosity doesn’t distract from my enjoyment of the final cut, even though it was taken out of the director's hands; for all we know this could be one of the few cases where that was a good thing.  3.5 Four out of 5 stars.

MAR Talks Cinema | Poltergeist (1984)

“Carol Anne, the Beast is calling; Carol Anne, Carol Anne, she can hear songs sing. Carol Anne, the Beast it needs you. Here it comes, here it comes, reaching out somewhere from inside your TV.”
--The Misfits, 1997

The afterlife is a subject that has held human interest for as long as civilization has existed. What happens to us when we die? Does human consciousness simply vanish into the void, or do we linger, wanting more? Those are questions that today's film deals with. Poltergeist is a 1982 supernatural thriller directed by Tobe Hooper, and co-written and produced by Steven Spielberg. The plot focuses on a suburban family whose home is invaded by spirits, and things take a dark turn when one of them abducts the youngest child and takes her back to the spirit realm. The family soon enlists the help of a group of parapsychologists and a medium to rescue the daughter from the malevolent spirit, which the medium dubs the Beast.

The films idea originated in Night Skies, an unproduced follow-up to Spielberg’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Since Close Encounters was a hit, Columbia Pictures wanted to follow up with a sequel. Like he had with Jaws, Spielberg had no interest in directing a second film, but at the same time he did not want a sequel made without his input. He quickly came up with a sci-fi horror treatment based on the Kelly-Hopkinsville encounter, which Spielberg had heard of while conducting research for Close Encounters. In this UFO incident, a Kentucky farm family claimed they had been terrorized by a group of gremlin-like aliens. In Spielberg’s treatment, aliens communicated with animals in an attempt to figure out if Earth contained any sentient life. They soon come across a farm family and begin to dissect their animals.


Lawrence Kasdan was Spielberg’s first choice to flesh his treatment out into a full-fledged script, but he was already at work writing The Empire Strike's Back; in his place Spielberg hired John Sayles, who had previously written Piranha. Sayles inspiration to write his script was the 1939 western Drums Along the Mohawk, and he went so far as to name one of the aliens Scar, after a Comanche in a John Wayne film. His draft also included an alien who killed animals by touching them with its glowing fingers, and an alien who befriended an autistic boy. Sadly this was to be Sayles only crack at the story, as he and Spielberg parted amicably over creative differences in mid-1980.


While Sayles worked on his script, Spielberg consulted with special effects master—and Oscar winner—Rick Baker to design the alien effects. Baker was beginning work on An American Werewolf in London at the time, but managed to build a prototype alien for about $70,000. Spielberg—who by this time was filming Raiders of the Lost Ark on location—was thrilled when he saw a video of the creature effect, but was beginning to have second thoughts about the Night Skies concept. As he put it, “'I've got to get back to the tranquility, or at least the spirituality, of Close Encounters.”


While on the Raider's set, Spielberg read the script to Melissa Mathison, Harrison Ford's then fiance, and the boy-alien friendship supposedly brought her to tears. This finalized Spielberg’s decision, and once Raider's shooting wrapped he closed the door on Night Skies, but not before getting into a fight with Rick Baker in his effects shop; Spielberg had wanted Baker to follow him to his revamped alien idea—which became E.T.—and was angered by Baker's lack of enthusiasm. Baker soon founded himself locked out of his own shop and his Night Skies designs were confiscated; looking at pictures of the designs that Baker published on his twitter, it's obvious that some of them were used. While I respect Spielberg as a director, I have to call him out on his disrespectful and distasteful move. Its one thing if you were unable to reach a work agreement with the man, but stealing his work and modifying it so another can take the credit is low.


While it was exorcised from its alien roots, the family being terrorized idea did not go to waste, as it was revamped into Poltergeist. Spielberg was unable to direct because of a clause in his contract with Universal over E.T. Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw Massacre fame stepped into the director's chair; Hooper had been under consideration to direct Night Skies, so it is fitting that he helmed one of its successor projects. Despite having sole credit, to this day various members of the cast and crew claim that Spielberg ghost-directed the film, using Hooper as a front to get around his contract. The Director's Guild of America probed into the matter, but found no reason why Spielberg should receive co-directing credit. When asked about the matter, Spielberg said “"Tobe isn't... a take-charge sort of guy. If a question was asked and an answer wasn't immediately forthcoming, I'd jump in and say what we could do. Tobe would nod agreement, and that became the process of our collaboration." Considering what had happened with Baker I wouldn't put it passed Spielberg to lie about how much control he had over the film, but at the end of the day I don't think it matters.


Spielberg and Hooper wanted virtually unknown actors for the cast, to help give the film a sense of realism to off-balance the ghost story. If the audience saw well-known actors in the roles, it might take away the realistic feeling. Craig T Nelson and JoBeth Williams played the parents, and and they were perfectly cast; they had chemistry, and were believable as parents. The only surprise regarding their characters is that there is a scene of them rolling a joint while talking in their bedroom, but I chalk that up to modern political correctness; if a scene like that was filmed today some people would automatically give the Freeling's the “Bad Parent” label.


Heather O'Rourke played Carol Anne, and she brought the right amount of childhood innosence to the film. She failed her first screen test for the role because she kept laughing when she was supposed to be afraid. Despite this, Spielberg recognized there was something special about Heather, so he asked her mother to bring her back, this time with a scary storybook; he also asked her to scream. This second audition secured Heather the part. Sadly she passed away in 1988 from intestinal stenosis.


Dominique Dunne played Dana, the teenage daughter. While there is not much to her character, I felt she played the part fine. Tragically she was murdered by her ex-boyfriend four months after the film's release, the first victim of the Poltergeist Curse.


Oliver Robbin played Robbie, and he was very relatable. We've all been afraid of something in the dark or outside our window at one point in our childhood, and his character personified that childhood fear. The scenes where he's looking at the clown are filled with tension. The audience knows the clown is going to move at some point; the only question is when. During the later scene there was one part where Oliver was really being strangled by the clowns arms; he cried out “I can't breath,” but both Spielberg and Hooper thought he was ad-libbing. It was only when his face began to turn purple that Spielberg ran over to pull the arms off. He gave up acting after 1986.


Zelda Rubinstein played medium Tanginia, and she was perfect in the role, her voice and height setting her apart from other “this is how we defeat evil” characters. She and Heather O'Rourke were the only actors to appear in all three Poltergeist films. She passed away in 2010 at the age of 76.


Academy and Tony Award winner Beatrice Straight played parapsychologist Dr Leash, and she brought the right about of educated grace to the role. She passed away from pneumonia in 2001.


While a few of the film's ghost effects are jarring, a majority of the special effects still hold up after thirty-years. The flesh-removal scene in particular is extremely creepy and atmospheric; if I had first watched this film as a kid it would have scared the crap out of me. It was the last scene shot during principal photography, and the hands were Steven Spielberg's. The skeletons used in the climax were real, as it was cheaper to purchase them instead of producing plastic ones. For the finale actress Jobeth Williams wasn't worried about being in the water with them, but she was worried about being electrocuted because of the amount of eclectic lights on set. Spielberg comforted Williams by being in the water with her during the scenes, quipping that if a light felling into the pool they'd both fry. The film was nominated for an Academy Award, but lost out to its more family friendly brother.


Legendary film composer Jerry Goldsmith handled the music. His score masterfully captured both Spielberg’s sense of wonder, and Hooper's sense of horror; the main theme, which is written like a lullaby, is a perfect example of this contrast. The score garnered Goldsmith an Academy Award nomination, but he lost to John Williams.



Poltergeist is the textbook definition of a cinematic classic. It has characters you care about played by competent actors, the special effects and score are executed wonderfully, and its contrasting tone is directed excellently. Other than a few aged moments and the behind the scenes drama, I don't have any problems with the film. Some might have an issue with the Beast not having a clear identity , but to me it's scarier not to have a clear idea of who or what the evil is. Some might also have an issue with the cemetery. I will concede that Steven shouldn't have been the first person to take issue with it, but it wouldn't be the first time in human history that some detail was ignored in order for someone to make a profit, plus it makes for an excellent climax. I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars.